fake it

i watched the reality show Keeping Up with Kardashian and the brain shouted wtfitw (what the fuck is tis w***) like every 4 minutes *bad! bad parenting*. m sooo glad m not her

also not her and not him (him/her = random fake ppl we know)

i want to be the authentic me

Which means messier, stupider, crazier and yes (appear to be) meaner but happier

i want to share my shame and be more free

i want to yell at fake people to stop it and just be more original (it's ok if u don't like me, i don't like u too)

i want to erase fake social norms

gals, please don't fake it. he doesn't have it. he doesn't know how to work on it. teach him or dump him if he refuses to learn

 

btw wat's with tis Kardashian, who is she initially anyway??

What do we feel proud abt us?

Indonesian and Indian. Both have part in my identity. Both shape me as i am now. Sadly, i never feel i belong in both cultures. Tho i am an indian and indonesian, i don't identify myself as an indian nor indonesian. It's not good, the feeling of not fitting in anywhere. i decided to fix it and try the basic first, appreciation towards both cultures

.

so here goes the things that i appreciate (love) about Indonesia:

1. It has -oh so many-variety of delicious food
2. the habit of drinking tea all day long-- morning tea, snack time tea, diet tea at nite time, serving tea to all the guest (..or tis happens just in my family)
3. it's very rich in cultural places to visit
4. it's where most of the people i love live
5. the fact that with 1 USD we can have 2 meals at local Mcdonald
6. It's the place where i stayed for more than half of my life with lots of memories
7. it's the place where dad is working to support my family
8. Bali
9. the fact that rupiah seems so much when converted to US dollar-- i use to give my other countries friend 10,000 rupiah bill (which is like 1 USD) and enjoy them admiring me for the  'generosity'
10. the three different time zone which makes it cooler than one time zone countries
11. its where my house and my purple room is
12. Pirated DVDs and Games
13. Good local singers and rising local writers

now come India

1. Indian are just good looking yaar..
2. songs  that make u move anywhere everywhere
3. Abishek Bachan and Aishwaraya Rai
4. the fact that i can speak and understand the language
5. clothes and accessories.. where shall i begin? Sarees, Bangles, Bindhi and Boobies (yes, as Indian, we, gals have it bigger.. :P )
6. Stereotyped as smart, which doesn't hurt at all. believe me.
7. colorful and entertaining movie industry
8. amazing arts
9. being related to Appu, owner of Kwik-E-Mart
10. festival of light

Shallow Relationship

It started as couples relationships’ discussion. How it can be really shallow.

I, myself, had enough share of shallow boygal’s relationship.

U know.. 

Go out on dates, movies, hang out with friends and dinner and sometimes sex. U laugh, u share u what happened and some other itsy bitsy things, but not the ‘real things’, like your hopes, fears, dreams, goals and which animal, given an equal chance, u would want to pet (baby elephant, if it's me). To have interest to get to know them inside-out. To really support your partner when they need the most, not just a ‘good luck’ text message per se. To cheer them up when they are sad. To really listen and lend a hand when they need help and if u believe in 

God, then to pray especially for them every night before sleep.

I come to the point of the reason to have a boy-gal relationship (if any) is to grow as a person, to nurture and be better. And is if for now to have future together hasn’t become a necessity.

This got me thinking of other kind of relationships I have in my life, parents, family and friends. I have a meaningful relationship with mom, but not so much with the others. It’s sad, but at least i’m not on denial. 

The last is our relationship w God. My gal fren once told me :

“Even if u only have one (good) relationship going on in your life and its wit Him, then ur ass is covered"

The Everything Self-Esteem (book) Review

The categories that bring people most joy are: independency, being effective, positive relationship with others and self esteem(the feeling of self worth)

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

have been dwelling over self-esteem issue lately. At first, the fact tat i'm confident with a healthy body image, i tot my self-esteem issue also covered. BUT a bff's sentence hit me, she said:

please figure out what you want in life and be with the person that's worth of urself, don't just settle down with the things which come along the way

We, sometimes show different image to public than what we really are privately, for many reasons even as simple as to fit it, but this may damage our self esteem. We should learn to take the best of every self we have, may it be public or private and work to make that our one self, the self to whom we are true

Discovering what are our strengths and limitations and make the best out of the strength while accepting and working on our weakness and getting to know ourselves better build self-esteem

Many people see integrity as a way of life while others see it as a way of life when others are looking

Have integrity in life. Hold on the positive values that we believe as the base of our day-to-day act and always opt to feel (and do) right rather than feel good

Develop positive and rewarding relationships. Healthy relationship means that we are willing to bring your total self into that relationship and help the other person do the same, support and get support from them, forego jealousy, competition and take pride in their success

Make personal commitments, how simple/easy it might be and stick to it.

Set and work toward realistic goals everyday (this also will boost happiness)

And let go of the past. We should let go stained images, soiled decisions to linger for years and years. After all we are humans only

What self-esteem isn't: a validation from other people (just hold onto our own values and let others validate themselves), bragging about oneself, looking for love in the wrong people

What you think about me is none of my business

Dr. Bill Wright

This post is the author's review of The Everything Self-Esteem Book by Robert M.Sherfield, Ph.D.